no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
