he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Randomize
