I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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