If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
