so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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