one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
