make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
