Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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