last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
