I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
