im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
