How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
