I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
