highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ketchup is God's man juice
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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