This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
