To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
