I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
