The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
