there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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