You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
is it fun? or sober?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
