We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your penis caused this!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
