Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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