What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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