He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
