If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
