my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
