i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
