The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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