just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can I color on your dick again?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
