I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
