hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
