Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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