I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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