You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
