Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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