I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
