Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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