stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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