Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
