I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
