drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
wanna go halves on a baby?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Those nachos came to me in a dream
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
