Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Where is the hickey?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think a kid would responsible me up
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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