i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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