Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
