I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
