you mean i was at the winter classic?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
