Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
