Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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