I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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