what day is it and did you see me today?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
