This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
