I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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