Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
