Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
