My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
